Word of the United States obesity problem has spread not only across the ocean but also back in time- to Sparta. The Spartans, who pride themselves on physical fitness, were appalled to see how fat Americans are. So they quit their day jobs of kicking ass and taking names and decided to make a workout DVD. With the help of fitness guru Richard Simmons, they’re going to whip America back into shape.
In their first DVD they will focus on their proven fitness triangle. The fitness triangle focuses on three important body parts; arms, legs, and abs. They will show us how to work out the legs by kicking people into holes; how to work out your abs by stabbing them several times; and how to work out your arms by throwing spears at your enemies. We will hear from some of the many satisfied customers who have seen results in just three weeks! We will see some of the before and after shots that will make any skeptic into a believer. We will also see some examples of fun and easy workouts that anyone who doesn’t have a heart condition or a bun in the oven can do.
The Spartan’s fitness triangle, on top of the constant support of Richard Simmons is guaranteed to make you sweat and make you shed those lbs. This video is just the first of a series of videos from Sparta. Each DVD will have its own focus. The pilot is the fitness triangle. Next will be healthy eating habits (such as dining in hell). After that will be family fun activities that kids can even take part of. Then there will be a Battling 101 DVD, which will give the basics in dueling, spear throwing, and shield work. Every single workout is paired with the musical styling of Whitney Houston (circa 1987) and the soothing voice of Mr. Simmons for optimal results.
If you do not start to see results in the first few weeks… you don’t get your money back, you’re probably just not trying hard enough.
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